Scheduling and planning

It's been over two weeks that C and I have seen each other every day, at least at some point during the day. Over two weeks of wonderful getting-to-know-each-other time that makes me feel wonderful and is helping me get to know myself better, too. I love it.

What I don't understand, the part I am trying to figure out day by day, is how to cram everything into my day. It's an unusual experience for me to be with someone who wants to spend lots of time with me (vis. the past 7 years). And that experience alone is wonderful and satisfying. I love seeing her, want to see her every day, and do all the things we end up doing together. In my past recent relationships, I only had to make time for seeing the other person a few days each week, and on those days I would often give up doing something else I needed to do, knowing that I could put it off a day or two and get it done sometime when she wasn't going to be around.

Now I'm having to figure out how to add seeing C into my everyday life, without losing anything I need to do. And in some cases, including adding new things, like time for drumming. How does one do this? The days have a finite amount of time, and while I used to feel like I had a ton of time at home (eg watching baseball and knitting), now my time at home is the hour in the morning while I take care of my own and my pets' needs for cleanliness and food, the time while I'm changing between running clothes and street clothes and back again in the evening (sometimes even eating after my shower), and a few minutes near midnight when I collapse, sometimes now without journaling.

And yet, being with her makes me feel wonderful, and there isn't anything I'd rather be doing (certainly not baseball and knitting!). In fact, I want more hours, so I can feel like I get just an extra half-hour to journal, or time to sit with the cats. How can I get those extra hours? Lunch hour? Fewer committee meetings? Working 7:30am - 4pm? Carefully planning my weekends?

At least I am finally sleeping the whole night through. (: And waking up feeling just wonderful, often so deeply happy that I think the happiness is giving me energy I don't have time to get from sleep. I am dedicated to making sure that I never look back and wish I had done something differently, wish I hadn't given something up, or done something to myself; I want everything to be well-done, with C. So thinking about all this right now, in the beginning, seems really important. And new to me!

Freedom and Necessity

For the first day in 15, C and I did not see each other. Yes, it feels odd. But I feel great right now, and it's because I needed the time to myself. Okay, so my boundaries aren't always as good as I wish, and it was she who suggested that we not see each other today, so I can't claim any credit for this very good feeling I have. But I do have it. And yes, I will work on better boundaries so she's not the one setting them all the time. Trust. Ah, yes.

I've gotten most of the million little things done today. Along with normal stuff, I had a meeting with a native plants expert regarding planting a wide swath in one of our swales (I live on 64 acres, and we have a couple wet areas). I managed to have a little time to drum before 10pm, and I even ran for a relatively long time.

My only goal now is to relax and go to bed. I have two things I didn't do, and I hate vacuuming anyway.

Note to self: find a good place to run so that when it starts getting dark early there are *lights*. And I don't mean at the gym - today is the only day I'm ever doing 50 laps. I'm still dizzy.