Nike

So I wrote a couple times yesterday about the experience of drumming at the class C takes on Monday nights. Unfortunately, the "talyen" filter was working on the server, and none of my posts were recorded. Now everything I want to say seems stale.

And yet, I want you to know that, if you have ever envied drum women, if you've secretly wanted to play an instrument, do it. Just try it. Borrow someone's, get someone to show you what to do, and if it takes noodling around with it in the basement when no one is home, do it.

Because it feels great to do it, when you do. I didn't think I'd be good at drumming, and maybe I'm not. But doing it, and drumming with other women, too, gives me a feeling I can only describe as whole. I don't feel like much is missing, most of the time, but being a part of the rhythms in my head, having them come out of my arms and merge into those around me, filled some crack I didn't realize existed.

So, do one thing that you secretly wish to do.

And after that, do it again. It's only pain, or embarrassment, or mistrust that's keeping you from doing it. And those can hurt, but they can't kill you.

My new motto for hard things: It's only pain, it will not kill me.

And sometimes, I'm finding, the pain goes away quickly, and gives me good new things I hadn't thought possible: a sense of self, hope, a new emotional skill, a new desire.