Acquaintences and Parents

[talyen]

Two women Catherine and I met at Festival came to drum class last night. It was great to see them. Oddly, after Festival, I missed them a great deal: I had grown used to seeing them multiple times each day, starting with waiting, car by car, to get on the land. I liked them, and they don't live very far away, and they have drumming in common with us, among other things. Turns out, we hadn't heard from them because they'd been preparing for and then celebrating their holy union! Okay, they were really busy, now I understand.

I've been trying to get my house clean (and it is!) in my own attempt to take control of a situation that is feeling a bit out of control for me: this weekend and next, I'll be meeting Catherine's parents. And unlike when I ungraciously threw her at 27 of my 32 closest relatives for a weekend (at least we left early!), her mother will be visiting her for 4 days this weekend. Her father and his wife for will visit for three or four days the following weekend, as well.

In some ways, I'm petrified of meeting her mother. I mean, Hello? I'm in love with her daughter, you know? Like thoroughly, completely, in love with Catherine, in ways that are going to be obvious to any mom, and especially to this one. And in this case, what she thinks of me really matters. Of course I want acceptance of me, and of our relationship, but also something else. Some elusive "okayness" that I need her to have about the thing that Catherine and I are growing. I want her to think that I and my needs for the future are not a roadblock to Catherine's professional and athletic success, that I will promote her successes to the fullest extent of her abilities, added with the fullest extent of my own. Hmm. How do I never say that to her, but convey that in one weekend??

Fortunately, meeting her father doesn't scare me very much. Dads just don't. There's always cars, computers, electronics, sports: something we'll have in common about which we'll be able to talk, I imagine. Not very emotional, surface stuff mostly: job, etc. Not like a mom. Dads usually like me, and when they're nice people, I like them, too. So the following weekend should be fine.

It's just this upcoming weekend that's got me cleaning my house. And car. And clipping the cats' nails. Next thing you know, the living room windows will be shined. I'm already looking speculatively at the mirrors in the bedroom . . .